Bottled Up Feelings
by Heart of the Lullaby
Summary: Raven has had fallen hard for Beast Boy ever since she first laid eyes on him. She must keep her feelings bottled up, or else her powers might get too out of hand. But what happens when Raven can't keep her secret any longer? WARNING: BB/Rae
1. Chapter 1

_It was just a feeling. A feeling that lay dormant inside of Raven. Something she didn't want to think about. But something she couldn't help but think about every once in awhile. At least she was good at hiding it. Or else she might lose control of her powers all together. _

_That's why she was always acted like she hated Beast Boy. She acted like he was the most annoying and immature thing that had ever roamed the Earth, and even though she wouldn't laugh at his jokes on the outside, inside she was secretly touched that he always tried to make her laugh._

_That made her think of when the Titans first met, and when she actually laughed a bit at one of his jokes and told him that he was kind of funny. _

_He returned the comment with a smile and his always sparkling eyes, "You think I'm funny?" _

_That's when she felt it. She almost lost control of her powers right then and there. She started almost hyperventilating._

"_Are you ok?" Beast Boy asked her, his green eyes full of concern. _

"_I-I-I," she stuttered, "I think I'm ok." _

_Something about this guy made her feel so out of her element, and she was actually ok with it, deep down inside. _

Raven awoke from her weird flashback of a dream screaming into her pillow. This couldn't be happening! It's not like thinking about him all the time was enough! Now she had to dream about him too.

"Raven," said Beast Boy, knocking on the door quietly.

She got up and opened the door a crack, "What do you want?"

"Well….you know….I just…I kinda…heard you screaming. I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine. Leave me alone," she said. Deep down inside, it felt like she about to burst.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure," she said, trying to sound annoyed yet calm, "Now, I need to meditate," she said, teleporting to the roof of the tower, leaving Beast Boy with a confused expression.

**Okay, my first Teen Titans fanfic. Hopefully I'll make a few BB/Rae fans happy with this. Pleast R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

Raven was in her room. It was around 2 am, but she couldn't sleep. Whenever she couldn't sleep, she did what she always did: meditated.

But she really couldn't focus. Memories kept getting in the way, and played like a movie without sound in her head.

Memories of when she first met Beast boy.

The time when she, Beast Boy, and Cyborg had all been trapped in the portal to her mind, and Beast Boy had saved her, and she had called him a friend, and his eyes sparkled.

The time when Terra had first met the Titans, and Terra and Beast Boy had clicked from the very first moment, she felt jealousy well up inside her.

She remembered hugging him after he comforted her about Malchoir.

She remembered Beast Boy pressing that penny into her hand, giving it to her for luck. She had lost the lucky penny that had done a part in helping her save the world from ending, and she was heartbroken.

A memory of him hugging her, and she pretended to hate it on the outside, when on the inside, she was screaming with joy.

All of these memories felt so real, and she felt the happiness and pain that went along with those memories.

It was so overwhelming, and her brain couldn't take it. She screamed, and her head fell back against the pillow. Suddenly, all she could see was darkness.

* * *

**Ok, I know. Short chapter! Sorry about that! I have a lot going on right now, all this end of the summer buzz, and I'll try to update ASAP! **


	3. Chapter 3

Raven opened her eyes. The Titans were all crowded in front of her, but the only one she noticed was Beast Boy, putting his hand on top of hers.

"W-w-what's going on?" she asked, rubbing her forehead.

"We…kinda heard you screaming," Beast Boy said.

"What happened?" Robin asked.

"Nothing, okay?" she said, getting up, and pushing all of them aside.

"Raven..." Starfire was interrupted by Raven

"Ok, something did happen. It's hard to describe, and I don't feel like talking about it."

"Well….maybe we can help you," Cyborg said.

"Thanks, but no thanks."

Beast Boy followed after her, putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned back to him, "C'mon Raven…" he said softly.

"No," she said, turning her back on him, a tear sliding down her face.

* * *

Beast Boy didn't know what to say. So he sighed, and turned away.

If only Raven knew how he felt. He was always trying to make her laugh, hoping every time she would smile. She almost never did, but he was always hopeful. He loved how mysterious she was, and he couldn't help but fall in love with her. He didn't want to tell her because he knew she wouldn't feel the same way. She would probably just hate him even more.

So he kept his feelings bottled up, trying to push them back down every time they tried to surface. But he always seemed to fail. He was surprised Raven hadn't caught on by now that he liked him. He thought it was pretty obvious.

* * *

Raven kept running and running until she reached the top of the tower. She breathed in heavily, trying to catch her breath. Then she layed down, and actually cried. Sure, she sometimes teared up, but this time she full-on cried, wanting to get it all out.

Then, suddenly, she felt a hand around her, "Please tell me what happened," Beast Boy said.

"I really can't tell you. Or else..." then, she found herself up in the air, feeling lost and confused, magic shooting out of her palms. Finally, it ended at last, and she fell to the floor, knocking the wind out of her.

Beast Boy was scared, "Raven...what's wrong with you? Your powers are controlled by your emotions. First, we find you fainting and screaming, then I find you up here crying."

"I...can't...tell you," she said through gritted teeth.

"Look...it can't be that bad."

"Or maybe it can be," she said, flying off, leaving him standing there looking confused.


	4. Chapter 4

She kept on flying, tears streaming down her face. _How stupid is this? _she thought glumly, _I should be able to tell him how I feel, like any normal person would be able to. But no, I have to have powers controlled by my emotions. _

She settled down to meditate on a rooftop, needing to keep her emotions under control. She tried emptying all her thoughts. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop thinking about this afternoon.

"Talk to me," a voice said next to her. She opened her eyes, and Beast Boy was right next to her.

"Go away," she said coldly, trying her hardest to stare straight ahead.

"Aw, come on, Raven! Something's obviously wrong," he said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Nothing's wrong," she said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Something's wrong and you know it. I've opened myself up to you before…why can't you ever do the same for anybody else?"

She sighed, "It's…hard."

"What? So you don't trust me?"

"I trust the whole team. It's just…you know…can't let my emotions get too out of hand."

"Robin didn't send me out here for nothing! You had better tell me-"

"Shut up," she said through clenched teeth.

He stood up, and sighed, giving her a sad look, "I'm tired of this," he said.

"Then how do you think _I_ feel?" she said, standing up with him.

He had this weird look on his face, then, before she could stop him, he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Please tell me…" he trailed off, looking at her for the answer.

"That I feel the same way?" she finished.

"Yeah," he smiled, a hopeful look on his face.

She so badly wanted to say yes, but knew she couldn't, "No, I don't. And I don't think I ever will."

He stood there, looking taken aback, "But…Raven?"

"Just go," she said, looking down.

He took form as a great, green hawk and flew away. _Why can't I be normal,_ she thought, watching him as he grew smaller and smaller, until he disappeared entirely.

*****

He felt depressed, he felt embarrassed, and mostly, he felt like the biggest idiot on Earth. He let his emotions get the better of him, and she didn't reciprocate. He knew she didn't feel the same way, so why did he do it? All he knew for sure was that this confession will definitely affect the team, and nothing would ever be the same when she returned. If she ever returned, that is.

He finally arrived at Titans Tower. The whole group was waiting for him inside on the couch, worried looks on their faces, wanting to hear the news, "Did you find friend Raven?" Starfire came up and looked behind him, "Where is she?"

"Yeah, what's the news?" Robin asked.

"Uhhh…" well, he wasn't about to tell the team what had happened. He decided to lie, "I couldn't find her. She'll probably turn up sooner or later," and without another word, he walked dejectedly to his room.

*****

She heard a bang and thump, "Why do I have to be such an idiot? I was an idiot with Terra, and now her! No wonder ever girl-" flump, "I ever liked-" bang, "hates me!"

She felt so bad, so horrible. Why did she have to do this to him? Why couldn't she see this before? Always trying to get her to laugh at his jokes, always bugging her, giving her hugs on quite a few occasions….why didn't she see it? She felt so selfish, so mean, so cruel, so inexcusably heartless.

She peeked inside his window, he sat there, kneeling on the floor of his trashed room, head in hands, "Why?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

He looked up, "Raven? Is that you?"

Dang, he had heard. She flew away, and she didn't stop to look back.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait guys! For the past few months, I've been super busy, and I've been high up and dry with inspiration for this fic. But I've had a burst of inspiration lately, and here it is! Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon.**

**In the meantime, R&R??**


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